Not long ago I had a long chat with a friend who is going through some stuff, and after seeing my transformation over the past years decided to seek out my advice. I am not going to go into detail about what the stuff he was going through was. That is not important. What is important is the common denominator in all his problems: Fear.
He said he wanted to be able to have an attitude that is more like mine, which in his view seemed pretty fearless. Not that I am about to throw myself in front of a bus, just to see what happens, but an acceptance of what is with a curious outlook on what comes next. He said that he wanted to be able to tackle his life without all the fear showing up all the time. Fear of not being successful in his career, fear of being alone, fear of not being able to sleep, fear of losing his health, fear of succumbing to addiction, fear of not being good enough, fear of actually being good enough, fear of… Well, you get the picture: A basic fear of life itself. The sky may well fall down and hit you in the head, you know.
I don’t think my friend in any way is unique in his fearful take on life, although his fear may currently be a bit accented compared to the average Joe. As I see it, only two emotions or forces can affect us humans: Fear and love. Absolutely every single emotion known to man can be sorted into one of these two simple categories. What might surprise many is that many of the emotions we tend to attribute to love, truly belongs in the opposite category. Jealousy. A way of showing you really, really care? Longing. Pure love? Nope, nice try. Then what about arrogance? An annoying form of self-love? Forget it. It’s all fear. Fear fear fear.
My friend was right though. I do not live with fear in the same way I used to. I still have it in me, by all means. But I am getting increasingly skilled at seeing it for what it is, namely fiction created by my egoic mind. By unmasking the frightful monster as nothing more than an illusion there truly are no good reasons honor fear. But do not confuse fear with danger; Danger can be very real, fear is always an illusion. In truth, fear and all of its derivatives are emotions that only have one practical purpose: To let me know that the thought I am currently entertaining is not serving me and therefore should be dropped immediately.
Abraham Hicks sums this up wonderfully: Fear is guidance that the thought you are thinking is bogus.
Because really, we don’t need fearful thoughts. They only prepare us for the misery they themselves create through the law of attraction. Some may say that denial is or isn’t a river in Egypt. Well, by all means if you think entertaining your fearful thoughts enhances your life experience, then go for it. Let me know how it works out. Or actually, don’t! In the meantime I am here to be as happy as I can possibly be in every single second of this life. A second spent in happiness is never wasted. A second spent in misery, well I’m sure most would agree that it could have been put to better use.
What’s the secret to choosing not to honor fearful thoughts? I would say a strong and genuine desire to be happy is a good start, and with this willingness a path will be shown to you. Guaranteed. Everyone’s journey is different, that’s the magic of spiritual growth.